The bar at Deliliah's: Thriftyness never tasted so good

OK, so you’ve been laid off and you have no idea how you’re going to pay your rent. Bars all over town are offering dirt-cheap deals to help stretch that unemployment check, and joblessness means you can spend all day sleeping off your hangover before going out for more cheap midweek drinks like a low-rent Lindsay Lohan. Bars are a recession proof industry for a reason!

Start your week right with Punk Rock Monday at Delilah’s (2771 N. Lincoln Ave. 773-472-2771); chase $1 cans of PBR with $2 shots of Jim Beam, while staring longingly at Mike Miller’s amazing collection of single malt scotches. You'll be afford them again someday! (Maybe.)

Boystown offers a veritable wealth of rock-bottom boozing—you’ll have to drop $5 to get access to Cheap Ass Tuesday at Berlin (954 W. Belmont Ave., 773-348-4975, $1 PBR and well drinks) and Dollar Wednesday at Spin (800 W. Belmont Ave., 773-327-7711 , $1 beer, wine and well drinks) but the cover pays for itself after a few. Plus, you know, the more you drink, the more attractive your fellow cheapskates become.

If you’ve ever fantasized about re-enacting Sex in the City with a bunch of Polish chicks in Warsaw, grab your girlfriends and head to OK Pub (5659 W. Irving Park Rd., 773-202-1418) on Wednesday for half-price girly drinks like bahama mamas, piňa coladas and yes, cosmos, which run about $3 apiece after the discount. Just don’t get caught trying smuggling cheap drinks to your dude friends—either they come in drag or they pay full price.

Any joint with a name like “W Cut Rate Liquors” (1656 W. Division St.) promises supreme divey-ness, and W delivers: the walls are painted bizarre pastel colors, the juke box is full of Polish pop, the patrons are mostly crotchety old men, and there’s an unconfirmed rumor about a knife fight back in the day. (Don’t worry, it was before Wicker Park became completely gentrified!) The thing that makes this place irresistible is how damn cheap it is all week long—$1.50 PBR drafts, and a row of b-list dollar shots like apple brandy and pineapple schnapps.

Hankering for Dogfish Head living but living on a PBR budget? Enjoy $2.50 Saturday night microbrews (Great Lakes, Goose Island, New Holland, etc.) at Relax on Milwaukee (2937 N. Milwaukee Ave., 773-486-0052). It’s not gonna get cheaper than that on the weekend, plus there’s free Wi-Fi, pool, darts, rockin’ music and a charmingly surly bartender offering endearments like “shut the fuck up!” to his regulars. And you can always go back the next morning for the hair of the dog—$2.50 Bloody Marys and The Beatles all day long.

The recession blows, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live it up in the meantime. Just try to avoid puking on your shirt—you may not be able to afford a new one.