You're out of luck, Buddy: Bud and Miller are nowhere to be found at Weegee's.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to simultaneously take a shot of whiskey and bite into a pinecone? Me neither, but I now know thanks to Weegee’s Lounge owner Alex Huebner. Alex has a notorious aversion to mass-produced liquors and beers; he doesn’t serve Jack Daniels, Bacardi, Tanqueray, Cuervo, Captain Morgan, Budweiser or Miller. So naturally the first thing I did when I walked into the Logan Square spot was check out the booze selection. “What are those?” I asked, pointing to a pair of glass vials filled with amber liquid. The first was Nux Alpina walnut liqueur—an herbal, nutty cordial with a flavor somewhere between Frangelico and Jägermeister. The second was Zirbenz Stone Pine Liqueur of the Alps, which reminded me distinctly of Pine-Sol. Zirbenz has yet to make an appearance on Alex’s list of classic cocktails, though you can order an equally appealing sounding — but far more palatable — “Rusty Nail” from the menu.

Alex and his wife Lynne Marrs opened their bar at the corner of Lawndale and Armitage two years ago, though the spot’s been used as a tavern for over a hundred years. As a result, Weegee's has a classic feel—the namesake is the alias of 1940s crime photographer Arthur Fellig, who Alex idolized as a photography student. Alex and Lynne kept the original tin ceiling, Brunswick bar cabinet and window fixtures, and brought in a vintage cash register, beer taps, a black-and-white photo booth and a shuffleboard table. Alex gleaned many of his classic cocktail recipes from the Trader Vic’s and Savoy Hotel bar guides, and rounded out the list with a few of his own creations. “Alice Mine” is a Manhattan variation created with Maker’s Mark, Gilka (a sweet German liquor that tastes like rye bread) and cherries brandied in house; the Amber Dream takes its inspiration from a Negroni, created from Boodle’s gin, sweet vermouth and aquavit (Scandanavian caraway liqueur), with Peychaud’s bitters in place of Campari.

If cocktails aren’t your thing, Weegee’s Lounge carries over 120 bottled beers, as well as PBR on tap for the Logan Square cyclist contingent. If you’re feeling adventurous, ask for the tap that looks like a railroad spike—it’s a homebrew made by Alex’s friend “Fred Morningwood” called McCarthyism Red Ale. Alex donates 100 percent of proceeds to the Chicago Police Department Memorial Fund, so you can order assured that you’re getting blitzed for a good cause.

Weegee’s Lounge, 3659 W. Armitage Ave., (773) 384-0707, open daily, 5 p.m.-2 a.m. Want more from behind the bar? Follow Bianca James on Twitter!